A Thin Line Between Reliability and Being Taken for Granted
Having to become a reliable human being is no doubt one of the most respected traits a person can have. When you're reliable, people start to trust your word, they can count on your actions and they strongly believe in your consistency.
Whether you're friends with someone, in a relationship with them, colleagues at work, or family relatives, reliability is the very foundation of respect. When you show up, follow through with most things and always keep your promises, you prove your strength of character.
But too much of everything is bad including good things too. Reliability can slowly turn into over availability. The second that happens, usually something you won't notice until it's too late, people start to confuse your dependability with endless access to you. The results of that is supposed to be love and more trust but sometime instead of being valued, you risk becoming invisible.
Since your efforts, your input, your contribution is always there, it somehow blends into the background and becomes normal. Human beings tend to get used to things that's always there. It doesn't mean they don't appreciate it anymore, no, but they tend not to treat it with as much respect as they used to when they first began to gain the access.
It’s just like water, we only appreciate it when it runs scarce. How many times do you think about the air you're breathing, but what happens when you're choking in a place with no air, you start to see it as the most important thing you need, you think of nothing but the air.
It's human nature, it works the same for almost everyone, except those that consciously remind themselves to appreciate somethings, on purpose.
If you’re constantly available, people forget to notice the weight of your presence. I'm not saying be full of yourself, no, but for instance when you start dating, don't be texting the girl or guy every single day. Intentionally skip some days, no matter how deep you've fallen for the person. Your new partner will either take you for granted so quickly or respect you in the long run depending on your first impressions during the early stages of the relationship. The one giving the most in the relationship has the lesser power for some reason.
The dependable worker gets saddled with extra tasks. That's usually the reward for being great with your work. Of course, it's good to be diligent at work, and prove to be a valuable asset but also do it with some level of dignity and boundaries.
The always there friend is often the one who goes unthanked. Ever thought about that?
The advice here is not to stop being reliable. Reliability is strength and it defines how great you are as a person and a mark of the true discipline you have. The advice here is to pair reliability with boundaries. Sure thing, you can totally be the person others can count on, but you don’t have to be the person others exploit, there's a difference. When you have to over compromise all the time while the other doesn't, it's a big sign of exploitation.
You saying no doesn’t make you unreliable, it makes your yes even stronger, it tells people you know exactly what you want.
When you set limits and boundaries, you indirectly teach others around you that your time and energy matters so when you give it to them, they appreciate it a whole lot more.
Reliability is not being everywhere, every time, it’s being steady when it counts. Find that balance and you'll move from being taken for granted to being respected. Protect your availability. Your reliability creates trust, and boundaries keep that trust from turning into expectation.
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