No Need For Revenge

Getting seriously hurt by people really stings and can leave a devasting and crippling effect depending on how bad they hurt you. When someone messes with you and you know they did so on purpose, like by maybe stabbing you in the back, bitter betrayal, dumping you cruelly after you've put your heart in the relationship or straight up lying about you to people that once respected you, there's this strong urge for payback.

It's like fire in your gut and you're hellbent on seeking justice for yourself, some closure and the sweet taste of them finally getting what they deserve, or what you think they deserve.

We've all been there, feeling that raw need to even the score and get our pride back by hitting them just as hard as they hit us.

I'm not going to tell you not to take revenge but I'll tell you the truth, that urge is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.

The deception is that thinking about revenge is way more fun than actually doing it.

Like the philosopher Francis Bacon said, If you're always trying to get revenge, you're just keeping your own wounds fresh. If you decide to go after revenge, what you're doing is letting the person who hurt you live rent free in your head. You have to think about them before you act, they're on your mind even after already causing you pain in the past.

You're basically stuck to them, replaying what they did in your head, plotting how to get back at them the best way and letting all that bad energy eat up your focus and happiness. Your time and energy which should have been invested in progress is being invested in them.

That's actually the messed up thing about revenge, you think it'll free you, but it just makes you obsessed in the process and when you get it, you're left worse than before because you had to go against your moral principles just to pull off the revenge.

Psychologists agree with this, after researching and seeing that getting revenge mostly makes people feel worse, not better.

That excitement you think you'll get from getting even fades really fast and when it's gone, all you'll be left with is regret or feeling bad about what you did. Don't get me wrong, revenge is very different from standing your ground and letting them know you won't be pushed around. Your objective in this is to send a message not to get even or inflict pain, that one is a matter of boundary setting.

But for revenge, you end up trashing your own peace for a short, toxic excitement and you then hand the keys to your happiness over to the person you hate.

Know that you really don't have to do a thing to get justice. People who constantly hurt others are usually already messed up inside, feeling insecure, arrogant, having no empathy or some other deep issue.

If they wronged you by mistake and apologize, it's a different case but if they did it on purpose and are ok with it, they have certain bad traits in them. Those traits don't lead to a good life. It's just a matter of time and they do something that really hurts themselves. You don't have to be the one who pulls the plug on them, they'll do it on their own.

A mean person will eventually push away everyone who matters, a liar will watch their trust disappear in the hearts of people who once trusted them enough to be a blessing.

Someone who's not real will see opportunities going away and they'll be crushed by their own bad choices. They hurt themselves because that's all they know how to do, not because of what you do. They're trapped by who they are and that's a worse punishment than anything you could plan against them.

So, the best and wisest thing you can do is take your energy back and move on with your life. Use all the time you wasted being upset and put it into making yourself better, grow your career, chase your own passions and spend time with people you love that love you too. Turn the pain into something that lets you get wiser, stronger and better at knowing who to trust more. Choose to forgive, not for them, but to free yourself.

When you do that, you get the best kind of revenge, a great, happy life that they have nothing to do with, while they're still stuck being miserable not because you wish it upon them but because that's what happens when they keep evil in them.

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