What does it look like to set standards for yourself?
You keep settling and you keep wondering why things never change.
Standards aren’t this poster, motivational thing. Standards are the filter between what you accept and what you reject. Most people don’t have a filter. They just accept almost anything. Bad friendships, unfinished work, toxic relationships. And they stay in those things because the act of setting a standard feels like going to war with your own life.
But the part that they never talk about when talking about this is that sometimes you set a standard and you still fail. I’ve done it. I’ve set a new standard for myself about the way I’d handle my mornings and I’d do it for three days and then oversleep because I was up late arguing with someone on YouTube comments about something I can no longer recall. And that’s the thing. Standards don’t make you perfect. They just make the chasm between where you are and where you’re trying to get more pronounced.
People don’t like that chasm because it’s uncomfortable. You begin to notice how much of your time you’re wasting. How many people in your life aren’t actually challenging you to be better. How your own excuses sound when you say them.
There’s a guy that I know who’s always talking about discipline. He posts about it, he shares quotes about it, but his room is a mess. He’s constantly running late. He owes people money. Standards aren’t what you speak, standards are what you enforce when nobody’s looking and when it’s not convenient.
The issue is that most of us were raised to believe that expecting better makes us unappreciative or makes us a problem. So we sit in mediocrity and call it being humble.
Anyway, you either figure out what you’re worth or life will figure it out for you and trust me, people mostly don't like what life figures out on their behalf.