UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST

image source

I find it very difficult to choose myself very often, I am too empathetic that I take the next persons problem as my own problem, I feel that I have embodied the lesson of Christ that says love thee neighbour as thee self, doing to your neighbour what you will want others to do to you, so most times I tend to the needs of the next person and try as much as I can to meet their needs if I am in a position to. Although this act sometimes feels selfish to me since it gives me the most joy in doing it, it feels like a selfish act.

Choosing myself has always been hard for me; not until recently that I tried to choose myself and be a little selfish once in a while. Back then, choosing others meant choosing myself, because I believed that by helping a person, I would open doors of help for myself in the future. It is still difficult to be selfish once in a while, as it always seems like a forceful decision on my part, which I am still not proud of.

Recently, I was coming home from work at an early hour of the day. I got off the bus and decided to take a morning walk, which is what I do sometimes as exercise in the morning. While walking down, a woman who was walking just behind me was being mugged, and she was crying for help; it was two guys holding a cutlass each trying to strip her of her belongings. At first, I was confused about what to do. I wanted to help this woman badly, but my conscious self knew I would only put myself in harm’s way if I chose to go close, since my computer was inside my bag. The only thing I could do at that point was to run to safety, which is what I did at that point. It was a selfish act on my part since I didn't think of the woman’s safety but only of my own safety, and still didn’t wait to know how she was before heading home.

It is healthy to put oneself first sometimes. Being too available to others sometimes means less value for yourself. They see that you are always there to save, and they don’t value your effort and impact in their lives. They know that a person will survive with or without you. It’s for your own good to say no sometimes and choose yourself all the time, as painful as this may sound. Most people forget the good you do for them, but they will always remember the one thing you did wrong. It’s also hard to find people who understand what gratitude is. They tend to be entitled and always expect you to show up for them whenever they need you to. Once you don’t show up, they forget the times that you did. You too

Thank you for reading. My name is@rishagamo, and this is my response to the Hive Learners weekly Featured Content Week 206 Episode 03: “A SELFISH ACT”.