THE ART OF PRETENDING NOT To KNOW HOW TO DO IT ___#212
I have seen weaponized incompetence. Many times. And I think all of us have seen it too, we just did not have a name for it.
It's that moment when someone says "I don't know how to do it" not because they truly don't know, but because they know if they pretend not to know, someone else will do it for them.
In my house growing up, my elder brother was a master of this. My mum would say "go and wash plates." He would wash them so badly, with oil still remaining, that my mum would shout "leave it! You are useless!" and then call me to do it. He won. He never had to wash plates again. He weaponized his incompetence.
At work, I have seen it too. A colleague who always says "I am not good with computer" when it's time to do report. So another person will do it. Year after year, she never learns, because not learning is working for her.
In relationships, it happens a lot. One partner will intentionally do childcare badly, or cook badly, or forget important dates, until the other partner just takes over completely and says "let me do it myself before you spoil it." That is not incompetence. That is strategy.
When I realize someone is doing this to me, I used to get angry. Now I do something different. I let the bad job stay. If you wash plate badly, we will eat with that oily plate. If you do report badly, you will submit it like that and explain to your boss. When there is consequence, the sudden incompetence disappears.
Is it something we could all potentially use? Honestly, yes. It's easy. And it works in the short term. But it kills trust. Nobody wants to rely on someone who pretends to be helpless.
It should be condemned, but with understanding. Sometimes people fake incompetence because they are overwhelmed, tired, or they were never taught. Not everyone is manipulative. Sometimes we need to teach, not just accuse.
But when it becomes a pattern, a tool to escape responsibility? Then we must call it what it is. Laziness wearing the clothes of helplessness.
Have you experienced it? How did you handle it?
IMAGE USED IS AI GENERATED
Oh, I always do that, and I don't consider that incompetence, we all have our ignorant moments, lol. I always say I don't get things or know the answers even though it's very easy to find on the internet, not because i want to pretend I don't know, but because i really want people to explain it to me, there's a real difference between internet information and human interaction.
Loved it !LOL
Exactly. We could all pretend that we don't know how to do complicated things, but it’s not appropriate for others to do our work simply because we’re feeling lazy.