Apology to myself

Sometimes during my day, I am reminded how easily I forget about taking care of myself. I tend to give energy and time to everyone and take in nothing. I continue to try to prove to everyone that I am valuable, when actually, I am and don't need proving. I talk a great deal of self love, yet few of us practice it for real. I tell myself I'm okay, yet I feel empty inside sometimes. I know the feeling all too well because I experienced it.

I used to feel that if I gave sufficient care to the people around me, the same would be returned. That is not always a rule you know.

Some take what I have and are left with nothing. I ask myself after some time why I let this happen. I then come to realize one truth, I owe myself an apology. Not for being tolerant or good, but for accepting treatment never owed by me.

Self love demands that you take baby steps. It does not require me to be perfect or to be fearless. It requires me to be kind to myself when I mess up, not to be too hard on myself.

It requires me to get out of the room when the voice inside says no, even though my heart is ready to keep being around. There are days when I stand before the mirror and tell myself, I am doing my best and that is enough. Yes we should strive to be better but don't kill yourself trying to be perfect.

There was a time I equated self love with the hot photos of people being Happy with themselves on social media or the encouraging quotes about loving yourself.

Maturity has made me understand it in a different light. I now equate it with the quiet calm moments in my day. I switch the phone off and take a breather. I forgive myself for staying in relationships that caused me harm for too long.

The hardest lesson of them all is that true love never makes me have to fight for it. If someone truly values me, I don't doubt my worth. If there is doubt knocking at the door, I give myself complete permission to walk away. That is true love for myself.

So yes, I do owe myself an apology and so do you. But more so, you and I owe ourselves a promise, a promise to never settle for anything that lowers us down. A promise that you'll take care of yourself like you always wanted other people to.

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