Revenge

Revenge they say is a dish best served cold, but I've realized a much better way to serve it, don't serve it at all.

A point in life will come when you realize that silence will hit your haters harder than words. And you won't dish out revenge not because you want it to hurt but you've learned not to worry at all.

Indifference will cut deeper than any loud, ugly confrontation ever could.

For years, I thought revenge had to always be about proving someone wrong, getting back at them or even showing off that I turned out better than they imagined. That part is something a lot of people work hard for, to prove to their haters that they're better than them. If you're working hard to prove to your haters, they're technically still in control of your mind and you're thinking about them more than you should.

There's something more powerful, not caring at all about what they think of you and going out there to work hard and succeed for yourself.

There's this behavior which I thought was a sign a maturity, when I respond to my haters with confidence in the name of speaking up for myself. I reacted to every betrayal to show them who's boss, thinking that would make them respect my boundaries.

It looked like it was working at the beginning because some people thought I was not the one to send disrespect to because it'll be a big problem. But I realized the fight never stopped.

If someone does something to hurt you and you decide to take revenge, well ok, but guess what you've also done, you've attacked someone who was willing to attack you for no reason in the first place, now your revenge is a reason to attack again, and then the next revenge gives another reason. The fight never ends.

The very day I decided to apply this wisdom of not responding and pretending I didn't even hear the insult, it did take a while but people around me noticed the new behavior and it brought significant positive change.

Not giving attention to people that are trying to deliberately bother you is a very deep form of rebellion. Remember, your intention is not to revenge them by not caring, your intention is to not care at all and move on with your life.

When you stop caring about what they do to bother you, you sort of take away the oxygen that fuels other people’s fire. Toxic people thrive on reactions, no reaction equals no fuel, eventually the ride ends.

Toxic people want to see you angry, hurt, thrown off balance emotionally. They want to live rent free in your head but when you refuse to engage them and simply move forward like they don't even exist, that’s when you win. You’re showing them they don’t matter, not intentionally because then it means you still care what they think. You do it because you want to put your energy in things that makes your life better.

• Nothing bruises an ego more than irrelevance.

This mindset and behavior won't come overnight because some people are very good at pushing your buttons. It's a discipline that'll take time and experience but when you get there, you'll feel a level of freedom you had never felt.

The beauty that lies in this kind of revenge is that it heals you while it burns them.

You no longer get drained by negativity and bitterness, instead of plotting a good payback to your enemies, you’re spending that time pouring into your own growth or self development.

There's a kind of self respect that comes with it. People no longer have access to your mind to control it whenever and however they choose to.

When you behave this way and get good at it, trust me, people will notice it. They may not say it out loud, but they feel the shift you've made and that is a better boundary setter than that revenge you're trying to pull off just to show people that you don't take bullshit.

If you’re ever wondering how to get revenge without breaking yourself in the process, try not caring at all and moving on with your life.

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