LIFE BEFORE AND AFTER HIVE! #comedyopenmic

Before Hive:

Hello, everyone! Before joining Hive, I was a careless person. I was not a fan of bathing, I only take bath when it was raining outside. I was a sleepless zombie, even when my mom woke me up, she ran away quickly like woosh woosh. I had shorts(dress) that were white in color, I don't know why it changed into yellow color after 5 days, maybe it was magic or my house was hunted.

I slept too much that once I woke up there was water (below portion) on bedsheet, maybe someone tried to wakeup me up. I was too lazy to visit a saloon for hair cut, my sister practiced her hair cutting skills that she learned from 3speak on me. I used to waste my time of dapp games too much that I got dark circles. I was a lazy sloth who climb the beds, I don't have trees to climb otherwise they would know I am a monkey by brain and action too. I use to drink all night, wait what were you thinking I drank water of abundant quality because of less attention to eating, I had constipation issues. I used to wonder here and ther for fun specially for free food and company. My friend's don't asked me for money as they know I will ask them for loan which I never return. Ambitious boys have dreams to impress girls. You can't except such dreams from my side as I was notorious for everything which you called relationship. I was being beaten by the girl's father and brother is extraordinary. When my future wife will see those scars she will beat me again.

I use to make prayers 10 times (5 max) a day sometimes asking God to save me from this complaint being registered by neighbours and friends. Breaking the window pan by hitting balls wait I was't a cricket player I use to send love letters wrapped like balls to my neighbour girls. I earn good money from a glasswork dealer, I don't do it for free Dah! Sometimes I make prayers from God to save me as I sold all the flowers in my neighbours garden, the money I got was in invested in purchasing a shock machine. I used to give shocks to my friends. I was't able to give them shock with brilliant marks and a beautiful girl so I got creative and gave them real shocks. God saved me each time because I gave money to beggars (aka friends). I was generous enough to let a sparrow lived in my head (long hair) without paying rent.

After Hive:

A person like me will always be like this. Unfortunately, Hive can't fix everything and everyone. What where you thinking I would say???? xD