I just recently reactivated my Tinder Account, more for fun then actually trying to meet anyone. I noticed a trend of these girls telling me to swipe left if this and that etc.

So here's my list for these picky ladies:

Swipe Left if:

You have a Mask photo

There's a photo of you wearing your mask on your chin, you stupid chin diaper idiot

You have an "I'm Vaccinated" sticker on your profile photo, so what? you can still get and spread covid even if you're double vaxxed and triple boosted

Have an "Immunity Together" sticker on your profile, at this point that is a nonsensical belief

You have no body photos, you're not fooling anyone

You have Duck Lips

Every single photo of you is from above at the same angle with the same face

You have a small annoying barking yippy dog

Every single photo is of you airborne, hanging from a silk rope, skydiving, jumping off a cliff and jumping on a trampoline. I want someone that lays down

Has annoying kids

Has a Snapchat address in your profile

Is a Liberal

You're a foodie, we all eat food

Mountain Climber

You have a Septum Piercing, you look like a bull and I know boogers get caught up in that shit

Have height requirements

Your selfies are all of you looking into your phone

Have just a photo of Flowers and no other photos

Have a Russian name, I know you're fake

You're a tranny

A woman that looks like a guy

You're 1st photo is a bunch of girls and I hope you're the hot one butt when I scroll to the next photo I am disappointed

You take a photo next to a horse and you like alike

You have a stupid Boomerang Video clip

Are a smoker

Every photo is of you drinking

You're more than 40 miles from me

Have your age wrong and then say you made a typo

Have tattoos of babies that look like aliens

Have Tattoo's of dates and Roman Numerals so you can explain why these dates are important to you.... I don't care

If you say you live in Miami butt don't actually live in Miami

And finally, swipe left if you can't handle a big meaty girthy cock

I'm sure there's more butt I can't think of anymore at the moment.

Otherwise swipe right and let's meet up