Bedtime with Trump: Sharks, Drones, and Total Losers

clears throat, adjusts hair, leans into the mic
"Alright, Uncle Sam, my favorite guy, tremendous guy, stars and stripes forever. Time for a bedtime story, the best story, nobody tells ‘em better than me, believe me. It’s about some boats, cartel boats, total losers, okay? Here we go, get comfy, Sam, this is gonna be YUGE!"

Five little cartel boats,
Sneakin’ around Venezuela’s coasts.
One went BOOM—total disaster, folks—then four,
Trying to smuggle fentanyl, but I built a wall on the shore!

Four little cartel boats,
Dodging my beautiful Coast Guard, taking notes.
One got eaten by a shark—nasty shark, bad hombre—now three,
Flopping around like Sleepy Joe in the Caribbean Sea!

Three little cartel boats,
Hiding their cash in their cheap, tacky coats.
One got zapped by my drones—best drones, I invented ‘em—now two,
Coast Guard’s laughing, they’re done, total losers, boo-hoo!

Two little cartel boats,
Creaking, leaking, barely afloat.
One got nabbed in a sting—my sting, the greatest—now one,
Sailing alone, sweating buckets under the hot, tremendous sun!

One pathetic cartel boat,
Busted, sunk, game over, end of quote! closes book with a flourish

"There ya go, Uncle Sam, a perfect story, nobody reads better, everybody says so. Those cartels? Sad! Total failures. Now go to sleep, we’re making America great again tomorrow.

Goodnight, tremendous job! 😅



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