BREAKING: Mysterious Sources Strike Again 🤫

Marcus and Jay were in their usual spot at the D.C. park chess table, the White House lurking in the background like it was eavesdropping.
Marcus pushed a pawn forward and said:

Marcus:
“Yo, Jay, you hear that genius news report about the second air strike on that drug boat?”

Jay didn’t even look up from the board.

Jay:
“Oh, the one based on ‘sources familiar with the matter’? My favorite phrase. Sounds like somebody’s uncle texted them at 3 a.m.”

Marcus snorted.

Marcus:
“Bro, explain to me how a missile hits a tiny speedboat and somehow they’re talking about survivors. A missile. On a boat built like a Dollar Tree toy.”

Jay:
“For real. Odds of surviving that? Like 10%, and that’s if God, Buddha, and Batman team up to help you swim.”

Jay moved a knight with the confidence of a man who’s seen too many plot holes in real life.

Jay:
“But then the news said they had to hit it again to ‘finish the job.’ These dudes weren’t cartel members they were Final Boss characters.”

Marcus leaned back and glanced toward the White House.

Marcus:
“And the sources! Always the same mystery people from Beyond the Shadows.

‘Individuals familiar with the situation.’

Translation: a guy who overheard another guy while taking out the trash.”

Jay:
“They act like the info came from a ghost haunting the Pentagon break room.
No names. No proof. Just vibes.”

Marcus moved his queen forward dramatically.

Marcus:
“You know what kills me? If the government fought cartels with the same energy they use fighting each other, the country would be safer than a library on Christmas.”

Jay:
“But nah… we get these stories that make less sense than a horoscope written by a drunk intern.”

He tapped the chess clock.

Jay:
“Your move. But don’t worry if I don’t like it, I’ll just say ‘sources confirm’ and erase it.”

Marcus laughed.

Marcus:
“Just like the news. Loud, dramatic, and none of it actually adds up.”