RE: Hive-Naija Weekend Engagement #21 - "Parenting In Nigeria"
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I knew this would be the topic for today. 😅
Here's my own opinion about the matter.
First of, parenting, like every other thing in this life, is complicated. There's no one that can come out to say this is the right way or this a wrong way of parenting. But that is not to say there are no good or bad forms of parenting - some parents are horrible at their job while some aren't.
Since we're all different people with different personalities, we also need to be subjected under different styles of parenting. What I feel is that, parents should be observant enough to know what type of style they should employ when dealing with each child.
And about social media... With the way the world is moving, it's very hard to protect children from the ills of social media because some of those things are slowly finding their ways into mainstream media. I think the best way to tackle this is just establish a solid communication ground with your child and help them filter out the good from the daily information they're constantly being bombarded with.
It is really hard to protect children from social media bullsh*** the best way is to make them do away with it till they Can make decisions
What I'm saying is that, it isn't entirely possible.
Whether you like it or not, they'll get exposed to it. So it's best you guide them in making the correct decisions.
I understood your view.
There is no way they won't get exposed to social media
One day dey will
But we can as well protect then from early stage .
Early stage in the sense that, they don't have full understanding about social media demerits.
Then we enlighten them and expose them to it
I don't know if u understand my view as well
I think the best thing to do about the social media of a thing is to direct them as much as possible. They will possibly still make mistakes; but when they do, mildly correct them. We cannot entire protect our children from making some mistakes in life. And the early they make them and get and get corrected, the better for them.
Fact
Thanks bro
Exactly
No matter the hand you use to hold a child
Who go spoil for spoil
In my opinion just teach your child right from wrong
Good from bad
And as much as you can teach them the way of the Lord
That way when they are not under your care or are away from your eye reach
They can on their own make good choices and know for themselves what is good and what is not.
As parents your work should be helping your child know how to make right decisions because you won't always be able to make decisions for them or be there to caution them but if you can teach them in their formative years how to make good decisions
They would run with it even when you are not there.
Yea after teaching them good and pray for them also, make God dey direct them
Sometimes i feel my parents prayers keeps me going
And it truly does
No doubt
Yea true
Even tho you stop them from social media, bad things full everywhere TV, school and so on
You hit the nail on the head...because Eh even the most strict parent still have disobedient children..
Exactly.
I know quite a number of people who came from strict homes but ended up different than their parents wanted.
Everything just get as e be jare. 😅😂
It's not just by being strict ooo! Most times Nigerian parents lack friendliness; they become too strict. And at the end, they don't even know their children.
I tell you oo
It not by being strict at all
I think the strict parents raise the worst kind. Usually, those children had no room to express themselves so the smallest chance they get, they do it to the extreme and you can't really blame them.
In addition, the schools should be strict in their efforts to control the excesses of their pupils to complement the parent's efforts. The parents also should know the limit of freedom to be given to each child in order to avoid abuse. Close monitoring is her important.
Thank you for the lovely insight @monioluwa
True, the school's input is also important, but the primary task still rests on the parents' shoulders.
Society as a whole also has a role to play.
I agree with you on this. The school should have a clear boundary of the do's and don't's and strictly stick to that while parents should be intentional in their parenting journey
Yes. The schools are showing too much laxity.
Thank you.
Schools these days are not allowed to be strict because of "gentle parenting". The parents these days would raise hell on any teacher that tries to correct their child, I've seen it happen severally. Yes, some teachers go to the extreme but those who genuinely want to correct that child, aren't allowed to do so.
Communication!! Communication!! Our society needs more parents that are friends with their kids not people seeking ways to raise the perfect child.
I do not buy into the idea of a parent being friends with their kids. You're meant to raise the child not to be their friends. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be room for your child to confide in you or have the freedom to express themselves with you. It just means there should be boundaries, let them know what's acceptable and what's not unlike their friend who would nudge them on no matter how bad it may be.
In the case of the story above, the parents chose to be friends rather than raise that girl from all indications. Everything that she was allowed to do under their roof shouldn't have been allowed.
Errrmmmm!! Let me explain it like this. The problem why many children are like that 10yrs old girl, is because too many parents think the only way to bring up a child is to be very strict. The consequence then is that the child often revolts by doing the very things the parents don't approve of. For instance,as a strict parent, shout at a child not to turn on the T. V, then go out, I believe you can guess what will happen. However, if the child believes that what you've advised is born out of Love, even if an angel comes to tell them otherwise, they'll never do otherwise. In sum, there are more than one way of teaching a child how something is to be done, one way is to through friendship. Have you not observed that in our typical Nigerian homes "Daddy is coming" is an announcement that everyone should behave, in other words, they should be appear in a way pleasing to their father but when he goes out they become their real selves. In fact, this is one primary reason why that girl's parents didn't know her. The other reason is that they were almost never around; they thought that just paying expensive school fees and giving her all she wants was what parenting was about.
What's more important is the community should priorities sex education. No kid is too young to be lectured about it.
It is important!!!!...
Abi o.
It's such a sacred topic that everyone is scared to talk about these days.
These kids of this days already know more than you think they should,
Alex ed will allow them know where is obtainable ooo
But it won't still stop them from experimenting....
Now how do you teach them that there is a certain age to get to before experimenting?
That’s where teaching them to make good decisions comes in
As a young girl,
I had roommates and I knew people who where into these things
They would gist and laugh about it.
It wasn’t hard for me to easily give up my virtue if I wanted to
But I know for myself what was right
What my Bible said to me
And what my mother wouldn’t be happy with.
I choose not to, I made the decision for myself by myself.
All this I learnt from the trust my mother had in me that she had groomed me well enough to know what was right from wrong.
I concur to this..
The important thing to do is communication , know your child or children that way they become open to you and get better relationship with you
Exactly... Be like a close friend to your child than making your child fear you.
That fear does not really work instead it creates barrier between parent and children.
Ore mi, collect 2 bottles of trophy from Iya Sikira. You have spoken undeniable truth ❤
Thank you very much, but I don't do beer. Sorry. 😅😂
Then how did you know I was talking of beer, if you don't do it? 😂😝