Fat and Sugar: The Evil Alliance

Disclaimer:

The content of this joke Funny article is based solely on my personal experiences, perspectives, and comedic insights. It is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken with a lighthearted and humorous approach. The intention is not to offend or insult anyone, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This year's grand plan...
to dive into the world of dieting because, let's face it, I'm carrying a bit too much baggage for my height and age. Last year, I embarked on a diet crusade, diligently monitoring my food intake for a solid two months and throwing in some exercise for good measure.

Guess what? Victory was mine! I shed 15 kilos in the blink of an eye, or should I say, in two months. I envisioned my newfound healthy lifestyle to be a permanent gig, but little did I know that a single stressful event could summon back all the evicted fat from my body faster than a superhero responding to a distress call.

I just woke up one day, and bam! I'm fat again! Huhuhu!!!

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Last September, I was super stressed due to an unexpected problem. For the entire month, I didn't have an appetite. It's good, right? I can maintain my weight easily even without exercise and diet.

However, in October, after the source of my stress was removed, I felt that my taste buds were demanding a feast of fat-rich foods. You know that feeling when you're down in the dumps and all you want is a tasty treat? Yeah, that was me.

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The crazy thing about these Fat-Rich foods is that when you bite into them and taste them with your tongue, it's like they gain mind control over you. I'm pretty sure there's a secret agent virus in them, sneaking from your tongue, travels through your saliva into your bloodstream, passes through your brain, and there they execute their evil plan...
to control your thoughts and make you focus only on chewing and swallowing.

What's even dangerous here is that they call for allies to take over your entire being, controlling you to crave sweet and cold drinks programmed into your brain as a thirst quencher, but in reality, it's just a trick to make you swallow your food faster.

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Yes! You're right. I was talking about Cola. Because of the tag team of these two, sugar and fatty foods, you might be surprised one day when your clothes seem deformed when you put them on your body. I'll give you a hint, The clothes are not the problem.

It was not because you spin-dried it for too long.

Every day, my body was on a mission for fatty foods. Of course, fatty foods – because let's be real, they're the rockstars of food! then October rolled around, and voila! The banished fats returned with a vengeance. and I think I hear them whispering that they are planning to stay.

The dilemma is, I got my fat back in October... The ber... hmm, ber... Oh! It's almost December, the ultimate feast month! A culinary carnival at the fridge and table awaits because of the Holiday Season. Attempting to slim down in November would be like trying to teach a cat to juggle. Useless.

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Now, in January, with two family birthdays and two friend celebrations on the horizon, feasting seems inevitable. More foodie fiestas? Hahaha! I've humorously postponed my grand diet and workout plan to February.

Alright, alright, I hear you loud and clear. I know I have a lot of excuse. Call me lazy, call me whatever exercising and dieting are just plain exhausting. And even if I had a six-pack, I'm convinced I won't break the internet with my stunning looks. So, I occasionally ponder, why bother shedding the extra pounds?

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I'm not into flaunting myself on social media, nor do I have a desire to impress anyone. So, why the weight-loss agenda? But, hey, let's not dig too deep into that question – I fear my answer might not be compelling enough to justify another round of diet and exercise. Hahaha!

Jokes aside, the real reason I want to drop some pounds is that I'm not rolling in cash, my career isn't exactly a blockbuster, fame is a distant cousin, My "D" is small and let's face it, And my face is not that good either. Need I add more fuel to the roast fest? Hahaha!!!

Isn't it more amusing if people said, "You know Lolo Dens, not the wealthiest, not the smartest, not the most famous, but damn, that guy's got a killer bod!" Right? Now that's a narrative worth sharing.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

So, here's the game plan...
come February, after indulging in the last slice of cake in January 2024, I'll kick off my diet encore. I'm bringing back the body that fits my clothes like a glove.

Because if my wardrobe could talk, it would probably be saying, "I miss the days when I hugged those curves – bring it on, buddy!"